Four Kisses to Save the World
by iamselena
Summary: Post-Buu. Old Kai, four women and Goku's promise.


**AN:** Wow. I planned this to be just a drabble or so, but it somehow ended up like this. I think the ending was too sudden, but I really don't know how to end it. Oh well. Hope you guys enjoyed it. DBZ ain't mine.

_**Four Kisses to Save the World**_

Everyone was still at the Lookout.

Mr. Popo has prepared a lavish feast at Goku's request, in celebration of the evil Majin Buu's defeat. Food of every kind, enough to feed one-hundred fifty people (or in this case, satisfy two extremely hungry Saiyans and three equally starving demi-Saiyans and their family and friends), were spread on a picnic rug just outside the temple steps. Everyone was eating, drinking, and exchanging stories and news about the recent battle they have faced.

"…and then this old man just popped out of the sword!" Goku finished before chugging down a jug of orange juice. "It was the Old Kai!"

Piccolo looked at Gohan in awe. "You mean to say, Gohan, you've actually met the Old Kai? The great Kai, who is much superior to the Supreme Kai?"

Gohan nodded, his mouth full of rice. He swallowed and grinned. "Yup, he's great, 'cause he woke my hidden powers, but to be honest, he's a lecherous old man."

Piccolo looked at him in consternation. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, ignoring his bowl of noodles, which was snatched up by Goten. The little chibi grinned at the Namekian and proceeded to eat it in five seconds.

"I meant what I said," Gohan answered with a wave of his hand. "He was a lecherous old man. Just like Master Roshi here." He nodded at the old man with a smile, who was busy getting slapped by Bulma after he attempted to touch her bottom for the nth time that day.

"Hey!" Master Roshi protested, managing to avoid Bulma's slap while talking to Gohan. "I am not a lecherous old man!"

Everyone snorted.

"Yup, not lecherous at all," Yamcha said sarcastically. He nudged at Krillen, who grinned evilly. "He just has a collection of magazines full of naked women…"

"…as well as a box of photos of girls in bikinis," Krillen added, smirking.

"And don't forget the box of video tapes I found once in his closet!" Goku volunteered cheerfully. Master Roshi shot him a glare. "He once told me they were educational videos about different martial art techniques. Imagine our surprise when we watched it—"

"Definitely not one of his finest moments," Bulma said, still glaring at the old man. "I bet this Old Kai and Master Roshi would have a blast together."

Vegeta smirked and took a minute from eating a whole turkey. "They'd probably argue on who's supposed to get latest issue of FHM magazine."

Everyone laughed, except Piccolo, who looked dismayed at the news.

"What's a FHM magazine, Mom?" Trunks asked curiously. Bulma blanched.

"Is it full of secret techniques?" Goten asked eagerly. "Is that why Master Roshi and the Old Kai would argue on who's to get that magazine?"

"I think this is a rather inappropriate type of conversation," Bulma inserted, glaring at her husband accusingly, who immediately went back to his spaghetti.

"Why, yes, Goten," Master Roshi said gravely. He looked at the youngest of the Saiyans solemnly. "You should learn a few things from me. Boys, that magazine has secret techniques boys should—"

WHAM!

"ARGGHHHH!"

Chi-Chi and Bulma slammed their handy Frying Pan of Doom and Evil Skillet simultaneously at the old man, who didn't stood a chance as he faced the wrath of the women who had to put up with Saiyans for the rest of their lives. Mr. Satan stared in half-fright and half-awe at the two women smiling, satisfied at the bloody mess Master Roshi conjured up. Good thing they never entered the World Martial Arts Tournament. He'd given a run for his money.

Krillen gave out a laugh that sounded a bit perverted. "Secret techniques? Ha! These techniques are learned when you boys are—"

"Old enough to understand them," Eighteen said smoothly, glaring at Krillen, who flinched under his wife's gaze. "And if Krillen does not shut up about this topic in the next five minutes, he'd be sleeping at the couch tonight."

Krillen immediately closed his mouth, while the others laughed. Bulma and Chi-Chi smiled at Eighteen gratefully, who shrugged and inclined her head in acknowledgement.

"But it was nice of him to awaken your powers without any protest, Gohan," Chi-Chi said, looking at her eldest son thoughtfully.

"So you're stronger now?" Videl asked with a smile, glancing at Gohan carefully.

The demi-Saiyan blushed slightly. "A bit," he answered, smiling at Videl. He turned to his mother. "Actually, Mom, Dad made a deal with him so Old Kai would agree to wake my hidden powers."

Chi-Chi sidled her glance at Goku, who was busy stuffing himself with pork buns. "Oh really? What kind of deal did you make, Goku?"

"Hmm?" The Saiyan looked at his wife, who face-palmed at the picture her husband painted. The World's Strongest Fighter in the universe, equipped with a pork bun on each hand, and looking clueless. He swallowed easily and scratched his head in true Goku-fashion. "Our deal…" A light bulb clicked in Goku's head, and he immediately looked at Gohan, who was suddenly looking horrified.

_Yes, our deal._

Everyone immediately looked at the sky to find the source of the voice.

_I must say, Goku, I was expecting my side of the deal immediately after you defeated Majin Buu. It has been two whole hours since you defeated Majin Buu, and I have yet to receive my side of the deal!_

Goku stood up from the picnic rug and scratched his head. "Um, well, okay," he said, sighing. "A deal is a deal—"

_Darn, right! Finally! See you in a few, okay?_

Goku eyed Bulma and prayed that she wouldn't be too difficult. "Hey, Bulma," he said casually, walking slowly at her. The blue-haired genius looked at Goku and smiled.

"Anything I could help you with?" she asked cheerfully.

Good question. Goku smiled charmingly. "See here, Bulma, Gohan and I—"

"What do you mean 'Gohan and I'?" Gohan protested. "You made the deal, Dad! This was all your idea!"

"Fine."

Bulma looked quizzically at her long-time friend. "Okay, what's up?"

Goku took a deep breath. "You see, Bulma, we promised the Old Kai that we'd have a real Earth woman kiss him so he would wake Gohan's powers."

"So…"

"Well, I kinda had you in mind—"

Before Bulma could even react, a roar went through the Lookout. "KAKAROTT!"

Vegeta abandoned his meal and stomped his way to Bulma and Goku. Energy crackled around the obviously angry Saiyan. "Are you crazy?" he snarled, a vein throbbing in his temple. "Do you actually think I would agree to this plan of yours? Are you that stupid?"

Goku lifted his hands in a placating fashion and grinned sheepishly. "Come on, Vegeta. It's just a kiss. A kiss to save the world. And we did save the world with the help of the Old Kai. Come on. Just a kiss."

"NO!" Vegeta's energy just went up a notch. Just a tiny bit.

"Are you crazy? This is the Old Kai we're talking about!"

"I'd kill this old, perverted geezer with a punch!"

"Ahem, can I just have a say in this? After all, Goku did approach me." All eyes were on Bulma, who was looking thoughtful. Vegeta and Goku stopped their argument and looked at the genius. "I've thought about it, and… well, why not?"

"WHAT!?"

"YES!"

The former, of course, belong to Vegeta, who looked as if he wanted to murder Goku and strangle his wife at the same time. "Are you mad, woman?"

Goku grabbed Bulma's hand and began jumping for joy. "ThankyouthankyouthankyouBulma!" Goku looked at Gohan victoriously. "Told you she'd help us out, son."

Gohan smiled weakly. "Yeah, Dad, but look at Vegeta," he said, nodding at the direction of the angry Saiyan, who was currently waging war with his wife.

"It's just a kiss, Vegeta! It's not like we're going to you-know-what," she said, glancing quickly at her son and Goten. "A kiss to save the world!"

Vegeta sighed, but the vein in his temple didn't disappear. "Fine. But I'm coming with you." _Just so I could keep an eye on the old geezer_, he thought ominously.

"Me too, Dad!" Trunks immediately shouted.

"I want to go too!" Goten exclaimed.

"Can we come, Goku?" Krillen asked, grinning at his friend. "Wouldn't want to miss this for the world, you know. You'd probably need us to hold Vegeta, just in case he'd beat the Old Kai to a pulp…"

Vegeta growled.

Goku grinned. "I guess it'll be okay. It will just be for a few minutes, anyway." He looked at the group. "So, who wants to go visit the Kai's planet?"

Nearly everyone, with the exception of the Mr. Popo, Dende, Mr. Satan, Buu, Master Roshi, and the Ox King (who all chose to stay at the Lookout and play cards), wanted to go. The group prepared to be transported to the Kai's planet via Instant Transmission.

"See you later, grandpa!" Goten said cheerfully, grasping his mom's hand as well as Gohan's tightly.

"'Bye!"

"Vegeta, don't beat Old Kai too badly."

"Not a promise I am prepared to take…"

"Okay," Goku said, placing two fingers in his forehead. "Let's go!"

A second passed, and they were gone.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?"

Goku smiled sheepishly. "Well, they wanted—"

"This is unacceptable, Goku!" Kibito Kai said, looking at the group with disbelieving eyes. Goten, Trunks, Videl, Yamcha and Krillen were flying around, trying to get a better look of their new environment. The two demi-Saiyans were chattering excitedly, pointing to numerous objects while the others were laughing at their antics. Chi-Chi and Eighteen were watching Marron walk around, chatting a bit. Piccolo was his usual stoic self, while Vegeta and Bulma were both still talking furiously to one another.

"But it's only just for a few minutes, Kibito Kai," Gohan pleaded. "As soon as we fulfill our part of the deal, we'll be gone."

Kibito Kai sighed. "You might as well. Everyone's here already."

"Thanks, Kabito Kai," Goku said gratefully. "Now, where's the old timer?" He glanced around their surroundings, but there was no sign of Old Kai.

"Yes, where is the old geezer?"

Smack. "Vegeta, be nice."

Kibito Kai looked at Vegeta's angry face and raised an eyebrow. "I suspect Vegeta's not too happy about this arrangement," he said wryly.

Goku chuckled. "Well, he can't do anything about it," he said with a grin. "Bulma already said yes. A kiss to save the world!"

Vegeta growled. "Keep saying that, Kakarott, and I might just believe you," he said sarcastically.

"A kiss to save the world!"

"Shut up!"

"But you said—"

"Oh, so you're finally here."

Everyone turned to the direction of the owner of the voice and their jaws dropped—Bulma's especially. Goten, Trunks and the rest landed on the grounded and the gang crowded closer to see Old Kai.

"Go-Goku, this is Old Kai?" Bulma gasped. She glared at Goku and mentally began punching him. "Are you serious? He looks… old!" Vegeta smirked at his mate's reaction.

"He looks as if he can't even fight," Goten observed.

"Let alone have secret techniques to fight," Trunks added.

Krillen began to laugh. Swiftly, he brought a camera from nowhere, posed and ready to capture The Moment. "This will be sooo much fun," he grinned, switching the camera on.

"Hence the name Old Kai!" Goku said with a laugh.

"I am not old!" Old Kai yelled, glaring at Bulma. "I'm just a few centuries old!" He looked around the group and smiled appreciatively as his perverted gaze landed on not one, but four pretty Earth women. "Wow, Goku, you've outdone yourself. You managed to persuade all of these pretty young girls to kiss me? I can't believe I still got it in me, even at my tender age," he said smugly.

Chi-Chi, Videl, Eighteen and Bulma clenched their fists and looked disgusted. Piccolo was gaping at the Old Kai as if he was a reincarnated form of Majin Buu. This is a Kai?

Kibito Kai shook his head ashamedly. "Old Kai, I can't believe you."

"What!?"

Goku shook his head. "Sorry, Old Timer," he said with a sympathetic smile. "You're not that lucky. You'll just get one kiss."

Old Kai sighed. "Oh well. You can't always get what you want." He eyed the women critically. "In that case, I'll just choose."

"But you can't. We already chose someone—"

"No! No!" Bulma immediately said. "It's better if he chooses someone."

"WHAT?" Videl looked at Bulma as if she lost her mind.

"Bulma, are you out of your mind?" Chi-Chi looked at her friend exasperatedly.

"No way I'm kissing him if he chooses me," Eighteen said adamantly.

Goku scrambled to be at Bulma's side. "But Bulma, we had a deal," he said pleadingly.

"That was before I saw him. He must be ancient!"

"Told you so." That one came from Vegeta.

Bulma glared at him and stabbed her finger on his chest. "Do you want me to kiss him?" she snarled.

Vegeta was irked.

Old Kai approached Goku with a smile. "Don't worry, Goku. I saw the lady that I want to kiss! She's such a looker!"

"Oh, really?" Goku looked between Bulma, Eighteen and Videl. Poor Vegeta. Poor Krillen. Poor Gohan. But everyone has to sacrifice something. "Who?"

Old Kai licked his lips in glee. "See the beautiful lady with the black hair tied in a bun? I like her."

Everyone froze up and glanced at the said woman. Chi-Chi was gaping at Old Kai.

Goten piped up, breaking the silence. "You want to kiss my momma?"

"No way," Gohan muttered, shaking his head.

"You want to kiss me?" Chi-Chi said disbelievingly. "Are you crazy?"

That snapped Goku from his surprise. "I agree with you, Old Kai, she's gorgeous, but I don't think so, Old Timer," he said with a laugh.

Vegeta growled. "Why should Kakarott be the decision-maker?"

Old Kai huffed. "And why not?"

"'Cause that woman is my wife," Goku said simply, as if that settles things. "I'm not so hot on the idea of your lips on her, thank you very much."

Old Kai crossed his arms over his chest. "My lips are going to be fine once I put on Chapstick. Just a peck." He licked his lips.

Chi-Chi shuddered.

"No way." Goku's tone was firm, booking no argument.

"Just a smack."

"No matter what you say, it's still a no."

Old Kai was pissed. "You dare defy Old Kai? I'd have you shipped to the Other World!"

"Try me."

"We have a deal!"

"Well, the deal's off!"

"That ain't fair!"

"Oh, come on, Goku," Chi-Chi interrupted, putting a hand on her husband's arm. "I'll do it." She looked resigned, but determined.

"YES!" Old Kai cheered, dancing merrily.

"No way, Chi."

"I have to so we can settle this deal already! I want to go home!"

"No."

"Are you crazy?"

"Your wife is giving her consent to kiss me!"

"Kakarott, listen to her."

"Vegeta, shut up."

A smirk. "How does it feel living in on my shoes?"

"Shut up."

"So if you won't let your wife kiss me then, Goku, I choose her," Old Kai said, pointing Eighteen. "She's pretty… look at her gorgeous yellow hair."

Eighteen looked as if she had swallowed a frog. "Ugh. I'd rather kiss Majin Buu than kiss you."

Yamcha snickered.

"No can do, Mr. Old Kai," Krillen said forcefully. He stood in front of Old Kai and glared at him.

"What's it to you, Shorty?" Old Kai taunted.

"She's my wife!"

"Fine. I choose the girl with the short black hair—"

"NO WAY!"

Old Kai looked at Gohan with surprised eyes. "I think you're too young to be married to this girl," he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

Gohan and Videl blushed. "She's not my wife," he muttered, blushing even harder over Krillen's obvious chuckles.

"Oh. Is she your girlfriend?" Old Kai asked.

"…no."

"Well, then, who are you to her?" Old Kai beamed at the result.

Videl opened her mouth to protest, but Gohan spoke up again. "I'm not letting Videl kiss you!"

A full-blown argument scaled between Saiyans, humans and Old Kai.

"So what am I to you, Gohan? Just a friend?"

"Goku, it's not a big deal—"

"Vegeta, would you please stop saying 'I told you so'?"

"Mommy, I want to go home!"

"Krillen, can we go home? God, I can't believe I even wanted to come here in the first place…"

"Uh, Goku?"

"Not now, Krillen!"

"Ok, you've proven your point, Goku, but where's the promised Earthling woman who's a great kisser? You promised! I gave you my life!"

"CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT UP!"

Silence reigned among the Z Fighters and Old Kai. Piccolo and Kibito Kai looked pissed off—big time. "Piccolo and I have a suggestion," Kibito Kai said calmly, though the nerve throbbing in his temple betrayed him. "I want to ask the women," he looked pointedly at Videl, Bulma, Chi-Chi and Eighteen, "to please hear me out. You too, master," he added.

"So, what's the plan, Kibito Kai?" Gohan asked tiredly.

"I know the women are bent on not kissing Old Kai on the lips," Kibito Kai began, "so would you agree if all four of you would kiss him on the cheek instead?"

"Only on the cheek!?"

"Well, you're going to have four Earth women kiss you, so I think on the cheek would be fair enough. At least you'll have four kisses," Piccolo rationed, displeased by the Old Kai's attitude. Stupid old men and their stupid hormones.

Old Kai was silent. Then: "Okay!"

Kabito Kai looked at the women. "Would that be alright with you?" he asked politely.

They shrugged and nodded their assent.

"Rather than on the lips," Videl consoled.

Piccolo's eyes drifted towards their respective partners. "How about you guys?" he asked, his eyes hard.

Silence.

"Fine," Vegeta grumbled, looking directly at Old Kai. "Old man, try anything funny, and I'll destroy this planet."

Four kisses to save the world.

Old Kai was in heaven.


End file.
